RAT leap of faith/fate

["Handy Capt. Theatre" <handycapt@yahoo.com>]

--- vz <dexteriously@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Miracles are every bit as commonplace as theatre.

I do not believe we should live accordingly to this,
even if in the end we should find it to be true, we
should continue acting otherwise, like Artaud,
striving towards impossible, or at least difficult,
strougling, ... I often expirience strange sensations
of beauty and inspiration, irrational things etc. but
what I find utterly inspiring is contrasting this with
rationality, developing those two, letting them grow
from the 'conflict', my rational aparatus becoming
ever so more cunning with dealing with teh
irrationalities and vice versa, my irrational domain
drowing energy from the more rational of labours...
I do seam to think a bit dialectically these days...
But I mean, it comes from living in the continuousness
of body and fragmentality of language at the same
time, I was thinking about language today, how it is
somewhat of an illusion by definition because it is
absolutely incapable of true now-ness, even thought
always lags behind expirience and not only that, word
itself is a thing of past/future, it is based on past
expirience and a presumption of what we expect to be
finding in the world that surround us, and this
interests me very much in theatre, and art, in
writing, this sense of time, following and describing
and sensing the sense of time, density of it,
subjectivity, how it slows down, quickens, how we
balance our accute now.ness with the electron storms
that our our memories and desires for the future which
mould how we relate to the now, and the dreams which
follow us through it all, dialectics of dream and
reality, this I believe to be the deep language of
art, it is time, it is a game of hide and seek, a sign
blindfoldedly seeking its lost true meaning, it is a
battle of losing and constatly retreveng the santehood
of Now, or it isn't, how would I know now that I'm
fully suduced by language and this pastfuture machine
that hypnotizes me by its electronic means?
I know not, but I seam to keep searching. For the
impossible if I must.

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