RAT And the response

[jonoh1@juno.com]

Donna,
  Due to the limitations of my computer I can't edit your response and
take it point by point. Which is the way I prefer to respond. Oh, well.
I'll do my best.
  First of all, I think that posting your response off list is a cop out.
While I appreciate that you may find it too personal, I'd point out that
you're the one who opened this thread in your response to Nashgay's flip,
some might say callous, comments. So, to take the debate (which is all it
is to me, honestly) off list is pointless. With that in mind, I'd rather
you not write me back personally on the subject.
  You say that you know many flaming queens, cross dressers, etc. If
that's the case, then how can you believe that they don't "face the daily
struggles" that latino and/or black members of our country do? I think
it's great (I guess) that you're straight and live in a gay neighborhood.
Whatever. It's also no surprise. Gay neighborhoods tend to be a helluva
lot nicer than many other neighborhoods. I choose to live in one as well.
West Hollywood, CA. But that gives me no special status. Just cleaner
streets.
  I'm thrilled that you actively work against prejudice of any kind. We
all should. I did not, however, "dismiss this as not making a real
difference". Re-read the posts, Donna. You dismissed activism by saying
that "We aren't screaming on the sidewalk creating mass hysteria. But we
are making a difference in a real way". I read that as meaning people who
<do> scream and shout aren't making a difference in a real way. They're
your words. Not mine.
  You seem to think I'm "angry" about something. I can only tell you that
I am not. But even if I were there would be nothing wrong with that.
Please don't feel you need to "satisfy" me by screaming your lungs out. I
couldn't possibly care less what you do or don't do. I don't know you.
It's none of my business. But the original postings on the rat-list are
my business. And I've responded, I believe, rather level-headedly, to
those postings. When you say that "even gay people can make blind
assumptions and carry prejudices" I have to laugh. Of course they can.
Everybody can. It's this kind of statement that leads me to believe that
you are, quite possibly, even more dangerous than many in the christian
right. At least we know where we stand with them. But to separate an
entire group of people by saying that "even" they can feel this, or do
that, betrays your inner beliefs that they are somehow different. I
agree. Words are <very> important. And they often say far more than we
realize.
  Thanks for your congratulations on my "screaming marches". Whatever
that means. I don't scream. I don't tend to march. But thanks anyway. And
if the christians who fight against homosexuals are really "in the
minority in their own subculture" as you say, then I'd like to know how
it is they seem to be getting their agenda through the courts if <not> by
the passive acceptance of all christians. And if that isn't passive
acceptance, what is it?
   Now as I read over your response I see that most of my pointed
questions were neither addressed nor answered.
Not angry, merely pointed,
Jonathan



On Mon, 14 Feb 2000 18:17:38 CST "Donna Sherritt"
<ohbelladonna@hotmail.com> writes:
>Over the weekend, I responded to Jonathan's comments in a private 
>e-mail out 
>of respect for those of you who might be tired of the debate.  
>Jonathan felt 
>that this was a cop out.  In deference to him, and to anyone who might 
>still 
>be interested, I'm submitting my response to him on the list.  To 
>those of 
>you who are tired of the debate, or who simply aren't interested, 
>please hit 
>your delete button now.  My response to Jonathan contains lots of 
>seemingly 
>irrelevant personal information about me (another reason I kept the 
>response 
>private), because I felt that he made lots of unfounded and incorrect 
>
>assumptions, and I wanted him to know how far off-base his assumptions 
>were, 
>in an attempt to get him to think before he makes them in the future 
>about 
>anyone else.  I did not include this information to impress or disgust 
>
>anyone.
>
>At this point, this debate is starting to sound like a 
>self-righteousness 
>contest.  The topic is important, but it seems we're all more 
>concerned with 
>"winning" than resolving anything.  Just thought I'd throw that in.
>
>Here's my response to Jonathan:
>
>I'm replying off the list b/c this is a personal response.
>
>You assume quite a bit about me.  I live in a predominantly gay 
>neighborhood 
>in Dallas.  Believe it or not, I, as a heterosexual, am in the 
>minority in 
>my neighborhood.  I know flaming queens, crossdressers, transsexuals, 
>and 
>masculine-looking lesbians, by the way, and count them among my 
>friends.  
>Which is a less cliche' way of saying, "Some of my best friends are 
>flaming 
>queens, crossdressers, transsexuals, and masculine-looking lesbians."
>
>I *actively* work against prejudice of any kind.  I'm quite active in 
>
>targeting and fighting prejudice against gays and Jewish people.  And 
>
>Christians.  I have worked with literally hundreds of children to 
>teach them 
>about the dangers of prejudice.  I fight it everywhere I go, no matter 
>who 
>the target is.  I do this because my Grandfather is a Holocaust 
>denier, and 
>is homophobic.  I fight this through personal relationships, and 
>through 
>debates such as the current one.  I find that when I get hysterical 
>and get 
>involved in a public rallying cry, I only alienate people, which is 
>counter-productive to what I'm trying to accomplish.  Over the past 
>fifteen 
>years or so, however, I have been privileged to witness minds and 
>hearts 
>open up to those on the other side of the fence.  If you want to 
>dismiss 
>this as not making a real difference, then you're missing out on some 
>
>wonderful transformations, and you are as guilty as those you attack.  
>I 
>would defend an injustice against you just as soon as I would defend 
>an 
>injustice against any other human being.
>
>As I have reiterated in other postings, this isn't an application for 
>
>sainthood.  But your last posting contained quite a few personal 
>assumptions, and I feel that my response needs to be personal and 
>specific.  
>If it doesn't satisfy you that I'm not screaming my lungs out on a 
>sidewalk, 
>then you'll just have to continue to be angry about it or try to find 
>some 
>kind of peace with it.  It's up to you.  I'm anything but passive.  
>Your 
>labeling me that way is further evidence that even gay people can make 
>blind 
>assumptions and carry prejudices.  My way of working against it just 
>doesn't 
>happen to be through inflaming rage.  Congratulations on your 
>screaming 
>marches.  There's a place for them.  There's also a place for those 
>who put 
>themselves in a position to sit and reason with people through love.  
>
>Perhaps we will meet in person one of these days.  It would be nice to 
>meet 
>face to face so we both can see the real people behind all of these 
>angry 
>postings.
>
>Perhaps I'm misrepresenting myself in tehse e-mails.  Or perhaps I'm 
>not 
>being heard.  Just be careful about your assumptions.  They can lead 
>to 
>pointless anger, misdirected.  I'm not saying you don't have a right 
>to be 
>angry about injustice.  But the "Christians" who fight against you are 
>
>really in the minority in their own subculture.  I just want to make 
>that 
>known.  The rest of us are working in different ways to make justice 
>happen. 
>  I'm sorry you don't hear about it, but that doesn't mean it isn't 
>happening.  When I hear Chrisitans speak about gays in a hateful way, 
>I have 
>the same kind of conversation with them.
>
>I could say so much more, but time ticks away.  I welcome your 
>responses, 
>angry or not, on-list or off.  This is an important conversation, 
>because 
>words are powerful.  We in theatre know this.
>
>sincerely,
>donna
>______________________________________________________
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