RAT cop outs and other out things

["Donna Sherritt" <ohbelladonna@hotmail.com>]

Over the weekend, I responded to Jonathan's comments in a private e-mail out 
of respect for those of you who might be tired of the debate.  Jonathan felt 
that this was a cop out.  In deference to him, and to anyone who might still 
be interested, I'm submitting my response to him on the list.  To those of 
you who are tired of the debate, or who simply aren't interested, please hit 
your delete button now.  My response to Jonathan contains lots of seemingly 
irrelevant personal information about me (another reason I kept the response 
private), because I felt that he made lots of unfounded and incorrect 
assumptions, and I wanted him to know how far off-base his assumptions were, 
in an attempt to get him to think before he makes them in the future about 
anyone else.  I did not include this information to impress or disgust 
anyone.

At this point, this debate is starting to sound like a self-righteousness 
contest.  The topic is important, but it seems we're all more concerned with 
"winning" than resolving anything.  Just thought I'd throw that in.

Here's my response to Jonathan:

I'm replying off the list b/c this is a personal response.

You assume quite a bit about me.  I live in a predominantly gay neighborhood 
in Dallas.  Believe it or not, I, as a heterosexual, am in the minority in 
my neighborhood.  I know flaming queens, crossdressers, transsexuals, and 
masculine-looking lesbians, by the way, and count them among my friends.  
Which is a less cliche' way of saying, "Some of my best friends are flaming 
queens, crossdressers, transsexuals, and masculine-looking lesbians."

I *actively* work against prejudice of any kind.  I'm quite active in 
targeting and fighting prejudice against gays and Jewish people.  And 
Christians.  I have worked with literally hundreds of children to teach them 
about the dangers of prejudice.  I fight it everywhere I go, no matter who 
the target is.  I do this because my Grandfather is a Holocaust denier, and 
is homophobic.  I fight this through personal relationships, and through 
debates such as the current one.  I find that when I get hysterical and get 
involved in a public rallying cry, I only alienate people, which is 
counter-productive to what I'm trying to accomplish.  Over the past fifteen 
years or so, however, I have been privileged to witness minds and hearts 
open up to those on the other side of the fence.  If you want to dismiss 
this as not making a real difference, then you're missing out on some 
wonderful transformations, and you are as guilty as those you attack.  I 
would defend an injustice against you just as soon as I would defend an 
injustice against any other human being.

As I have reiterated in other postings, this isn't an application for 
sainthood.  But your last posting contained quite a few personal 
assumptions, and I feel that my response needs to be personal and specific.  
If it doesn't satisfy you that I'm not screaming my lungs out on a sidewalk, 
then you'll just have to continue to be angry about it or try to find some 
kind of peace with it.  It's up to you.  I'm anything but passive.  Your 
labeling me that way is further evidence that even gay people can make blind 
assumptions and carry prejudices.  My way of working against it just doesn't 
happen to be through inflaming rage.  Congratulations on your screaming 
marches.  There's a place for them.  There's also a place for those who put 
themselves in a position to sit and reason with people through love.  
Perhaps we will meet in person one of these days.  It would be nice to meet 
face to face so we both can see the real people behind all of these angry 
postings.

Perhaps I'm misrepresenting myself in tehse e-mails.  Or perhaps I'm not 
being heard.  Just be careful about your assumptions.  They can lead to 
pointless anger, misdirected.  I'm not saying you don't have a right to be 
angry about injustice.  But the "Christians" who fight against you are 
really in the minority in their own subculture.  I just want to make that 
known.  The rest of us are working in different ways to make justice happen. 
  I'm sorry you don't hear about it, but that doesn't mean it isn't 
happening.  When I hear Chrisitans speak about gays in a hateful way, I have 
the same kind of conversation with them.

I could say so much more, but time ticks away.  I welcome your responses, 
angry or not, on-list or off.  This is an important conversation, because 
words are powerful.  We in theatre know this.

sincerely,
donna
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