Re: RAT Re: Flanders

[leewochner@movingarts.org (Lee Wochner)]

Well, that explains everything. Thanks.

Lee,
still not quite sure....


At 8:09 PM 4/29/99, nick wrote:
>At 01:55 PM 4/29/99 -0700, Lee Wochner wrote:
>>All right, I admit it. I'm an uncultured nabob. Maybe I've just been
>>spending too much time with Dostoevsky, et al. Who is Flanders? I've been
>>enduring not getting this reference for oh, about 165 posts so far, but now
>>I've had enough.
>>
>>Lee,
>>Flandless
>>
>
>"Look, Homer, all of us pull a few boners now and then, go off half-cocked,
>make asses of ourselves. So, I don't want to be hard on you, but I just
>wish you wouldn't curse in front of my boys"
>
>****************
>
>"At times like these, I used to turn to the Bible and find solace, but even
>the Good Book can't help me now"
>
>Homer : Why not?
>
>"I sold it to you for seven cents"
>
>Homer : Oh
>
>Ned broke
>*********************
>
>"Dear God, thank you for Ziggy comics, little baby ducks and 'Sweatin' to
>the oldies, volumes one, two and four"
>
>Ned praying in hospital
>************************
>
>"If you think I'm cuddly / And you want my company / Come on wifey let me
>know....ugh, ugh, ugh.."
>
>Ned, serenading his wife
>*************************
>
>(seeing Rod and Todd praying) "Knock that off, you two. It's time for church"
>
>Todd : We're not going to church today
>
>(gasp) "What! You give me one good reason"
>
>Todd : It's Saturday
>
>"Okelly-dokelly-do"
>
>Ned in 'Love that God'
>*********************
>
>"Oh, the network slogan is true! Watch FOX and be damned for all eternity"
>
>Ned believing his family have the Osaka flu because he watched 'Married
>with Children'
>********************
>
>"Godspeed little doodle"
>
>Ned to the cheese doodle that they use as bait to catch a fish
>********************
>
>Homer : Flanders! My socks feel dirty! Gimme some water to wash em!
>
>"Again? Homer, we have to ration the water carefully! It's our only hope!"
>
>Homer : Oh, pardon me, mister let's-ration-everything, but what do you
>think we're floating on? Don't you know the poem 'water, water everywhere,
>so let's all have a drink'
>
>Homer and Ned arguing about how to ration the water
>*******************************
>
>"Hidilly ho, neighboureenos"
>
>Homer : Can't talk. Robbed. Go to hell.
>
>"You folks got robbed too? The burglar took my shroud of Turin beach towels"
>***************************
>
>"Oh, golly, if that doesn't put the shaz in shazam. Oh listen, what's the
>cash value of those tickets so I can report it on my income taxes?"
>
>Ned, winning the football tickets over the radio
>****************************
>
>"Bless the grocer for this wonderful meat, the middleman who jacked up the
>price, and let's not forget the human but determined boys at the
>slaughterhouse"
>
>Ned saying grace
>*************************
>
>"I told you, officer. I'm not 'hepped up' on 'goofballs'
>
>Chief Wiggum : Yeah right (Ned loses balance in his dexterity test,
>embarrassed that a church bus is passing by) High as a kite, everybody!
>Goofballs! Where's your messiah now, Flanders?
>
>Ned gets pulled over for speeding
>************************
>
>"Here's Jose Flanders!
>
>Jose Flanders : Buenas ding-dong-diddily-dias, senor
>
>"And this is Lord Thistlewick Flanders!
>
>Lord Thistlewick Flanders : Charmed (Ned nudges him with his elbow. Lord
>Thistlewick looks reluctant, but relents) Eh, a-googily-doogily
>
>Ned introduces Homer to his cousins
>*************************
>
>"Hello, Mr Brown ground, whatcha got for me?"
>
>Ned, rolling up his sleeves to inspect the Simpsons septic tank
>************************
>
>"Ooh, I better take down the manger scene! If baby Jesus got loose he could
>really do some damage!"
>
>Ned taking precautions for the hurricane
>***************************
>
>"Why me, Lord? Where have I gone wrong? I've always been nice to people! I
>don't drink or dance or swear! I've even kept Kosher just to be on the safe
>side! I've done everything the Bible says; even the stuff that contradicts
>the other stuff! What more could I do?"
>
>Ned praying after his house is destroyed
>******************************
>
>"Reverend Lovejoy, with all thats happening to us today, I kinda feel like
>Job.
>
>Lovejoy : Well, aren't you being a tad melodramatic, Ned? Also I believe
>Job was right handed.
>
>"But, Reverend, I need to know. Is God punishing me?
>
>Lovejoy : Ooh, short answer 'yes' with an 'if'. Long answer 'no' with a 'but'
>
>*****************
>
>"Calmdown, Neddily-diddily-diddily-diddily-diddily...they did their
>best...shoddily-iddily-iddily-diddily...gotta be nice
>hostility-ilitity-bility-dility..Aw, hell diddily-ding-dong crap! Can't you
>morons do anything right?
>
>(The crowd gasps)
>
>Marge : Ned, we meant well and everyone here tried their best!
>
>" Well my family and I can't live in good intentions, Marge! Oh, your
>family is out of control but we can't blame you because you've got gooood
>intentions!
>
>Bart : Hey, back off, man!
>
>"Oh, Okay, duuude! I wouldn't want you to have a cow, maaan! Here's a
>catch-phrase you better learn for your adult years 'hey buddy, got a
>quarter?' "
>
>(crowd gasps again)
>
>Bart : I am shocked and appalled.
>
>Ned going crazy when his rebuilt house isn't quite what he expected
>**************************
>
>"Homer, I've got a fozzie of a bear of a problem. Y'know Maude and her
>mother were visiting Tyre and Sidon, the twin cities of the Holy land. They
>must've kneeled in the wrong place and prayed to the wrong God, because,
>well, they're being held prisoner by militants of some sort.
>
>Homer : Militants, huh? Well, if I were you, I'd kick their asses.
>
>"Well, any hoodily-doodle, the embassy says it's just a routine hostage
>taking - but
>I have to drive to Capitol City, fill out some forms to get 'em out. Could
>you possibly watch the kids tonight?
>
>Homer : Uh, gee, I'd really love to help you, Flanders, but...uh, Marge was
>taken prisoner in the...Holy land and uh...
>
>Lisa : I'll do it! I'll babysit!
>
>"Well, I don't know, Lisa. You're awfully young, and the boys can be a
>handful. Todd's been pinching everyone lately.
>
>Lisa : But I'm smart and responsible, and my parents will be right next door!
>
>"Well, what do you say, Homer? Can Lisa babysit for my Kids?
>
>Lisa : Please, please, please!
>
>Homer : Eh, I'll have to ask her.

______________________________________________________________________
www.movingarts.org

Internet access for Moving Arts generously provided by MindSpring.  For
more information, call (800) 719.4664.