Re: RAT COLUMBINE

[InTheLime@aol.com]

In a message dated 99-04-23 15:59:45 EDT, you write:

<< I can find nothing even vaguely heroic, >>
Neither do I think that what they did was "hereoic" -- I'm saying that THEY 
believed it was the only way they could personally get people to think.  They 
weren't right, of course...but it certainly was one way to get people to 
think - and it is what they thought they were good at.

Just as a side note...we here in the Philly area had five schools closed 
around here yesterday from student bomb threats.  Think there's no revolt 
happening where you are?  Well it can and is happening here.  This is 
war-like to me...so call it revenge of the nerds..or call it a student 
revolution...or just call it damned irritating if you must...
But ...
I AM saying that "revenge of the nerds" is not something to make fun of or 
"reduce" this to.  I AM also saying that the other side in Columbine was not 
without fault in how things turned out - and from what I'm seeing in way too 
much televised interviews with people in shock is that they don't yet realize 
that they were integral in the "war mentality."  Does it justify the TCM 
response?  NO of course not...but I UNDERSTAND why they responded that 
way...and that makes me weep.

I do think they were "tragically misguided"...because they clearly had no one 
there showing them how to channel their negative energy in a more positive 
way - like writing "reductive" notes to help channel thoughts.  I do think 
they wanted YOU to think and ME to think, though, because they went to a 
great deal of effort to make sure that we would see a pattern, and recognize 
their system AND their intellect. 

I don't think these men acted without thought...and of course they fought 
against what they feared... isn't that what all wars are about?  I'm saying 
they ARE responsible for their actions and that we are too.  Someone here 
said it was their version of "art."  Someone else asked last week "what if 
the war was on home soil..." I'm saying that we are all responsible FOR the 
what they created their mode of communication, because we are all part of the 
problem - because they believed this was the way they had to share their 
lesson.  We all fear ... something.  I don't personally know anyone who 
doesn't have a "them" to fear.   I'm always trying to clear out my thems into 
the light and look at them on a one on one basis...

I'm certainly not saying I approve of how they channeled their aggression.  
I'm saying I understand why they did so.  As you will all attest, I have a 
tendency to write letters to explore alternatives to violence.  I do theatre 
to explore alternatives to just about everything (even sex, sigh).  

But I do perceive a pattern emerging from High School America that shows that 
revolt is brewing - and I understand why...I also understand that it is my 
responsibility to get in there and do something.  And unlike the 
Serbian/Albanian conflict where I couldn't see what I could personally do...I 
see it here.  And I see how my brand of theatre can -  should - must help.  

Luckily, I spend a lot of time going into Center Phila. schools, and this 
gives me the jolt I need to look a little more closely at the children and 
young adults I see once a week and make sure they know that they can TALK 
rather than bomb...because I'm willing to listen to them and I'll let them 
bomb me with words and then still be there to hold onto afterwards.  Of 
course if schools are closed every day due to bomb threats, it might be a 
while before I get to visit with all those drama clubs.

I did a production of Calderon's LIFE IS A DREAM two years ago (original 
adaptaion from an old-ass script)...for those who don't know, a teenager 
who's been held captive all of his life in a prison by his father, is 
released on a whim to see what kind of man he is...well of course his initial 
impulse is towards violence...then he realizes through verbalization, through 
exploration of thought...though love...that violence is not the answer.  
Staged it with lots of music, MTV ish...leather and lace...very High School.  
Critics were 50/50 on it...but our biggest RETURN audience?  High School 
students...and the students returned again and again.  And they wrote me some 
beautiful responses, about how they hadn't realized the responsibilty they 
each had to creating a new world, to dealing with their burdens in a more 
peaceful way.  About how easy it is to respond with hate, but how much more 
noble to figure out a peaceful alternative.  They wrote poetry for me.  That 
was some show, and I have the proof of its effect.  Incidentally, that show 
was written four hundred years ago.  

Everything old is new again.

-- Aileen McCulloch,
Managing Artistic Director
The Vagabond Acting Troupe
Philadelphia, PA