Re: RAT COLUMBINE

[InTheLime@aol.com]

In a message dated 99-04-23 12:21:58 EDT, you write:

<< This was their art, and whether I approve of their actions or not, whether 
I am
horrified by their aesthetics or not, I feel like what they're saying needs
to be heard.>>

YES!!!  This is a revolution citizens - it's only been a hundred or so years 
in the making - since we started forcing the tribes into what we call "high" 
schools.  And this revolt is not unprovoked. This is what hurts me: that I 
understand why those self-proclaimed soldiers went ballistic on their own 
soil.  That I knew these boys when I was in school (15 years ago). That I was 
part of them in mind and consciousness.  There is no them, we are only us.

I so want to feel complete sorrow for the people who were shot...because I do 
not want violence to be the only answer - because I do not want to blame the 
victims.  But there were victims on both sides of this conflict, weren't 
there?  And I see these graduating seniors on the screen accepting no 
responsibility for the hatred they helped to create.  Saying "sure we hated 
them...sure they weren't welcome...but..."  BUT?  I cannot simply shrug this 
off as two "crazies" who went psycho.  This revolution was clearly provoked. 

I perceive Columbine as a long seige of terror brought to an end by 
violence...and unfortunately the perpetration of terror was two-sided.  How 
can the media miss the hatred that was thrust upon the backs of those black 
coats?  Or when back-handedly noting the possibility of its existence, 
quickly conclude with a "but..."  The responsibility here is transparent.  
Everyone is to blame. 

We want to blame the teachers...the video games...the teleivion...and oh how 
we want to blame the parents... we want to blame anyone but ourselves.  But I 
am completely responsible.  I take it on my shoulders.  I blame myself for 
perpetuating the myth that I believe everyone is equal.  We aren't all 
equal...we're all different...which is a much more obvious truth to hold - 
and makes for a much more wonderful world.  What I regret is that we truly do 
not believe as a society that it is good to be different.

Those young budding adults hated the the black coats for being "different" 
long before the bombs were set. And the shy loners who banded together found 
power in their plans of revenge.  It's a return of hatred for hatred.  There 
was an admitted "war" going on between the "jocks" and the 
"trenchcoats"...even the "jocks" are saying that now.  If there was a war, of 
course it was going to end in violence.  That's one of those anticipated 
results of being at war.  And these soldiers were not subtle...they 
advertised their intent, and made their threats, and were completely IGNORED. 
 The worst insult of all is when you tell the truth and those around you 
ignore it. Yes?

Youth warring is not new, though, folks...teenagers have been waging war 
throughout history - because until this century, you were rightfully 
perceived as an adult as soon as you could take care of yourself.  Look back 
over hundreds of years and you are going to find that ADULTS between the ages 
of 13 and 30 were involved in most military battles...it's just that in the 
last 100+ years we created a myth that we are "more civilized" than our 
ancestors and civility means treating young adults like children.

I am saddened and afraid because I understand the resultant violence so 
completely.  I wore all black in High School.  My nerdy brother (so like  his 
big sister) just got out of high school this year...and guess what...he wears 
a black trench coat.  I punked out.  I helped to publish an underground 
newsletter.  I was threatened by jocks (we even called them that back when I 
was "in the days...").     Every now and then I'm still bullied by a "jock."  

But I'm lucky...I had art even then as my expression.  I was a writer and an 
actress, and I could channel my frustration. I too plotted my revenge against 
what I perceived as a society of hate which surrended me.  My revenge was to 
be the BEST ARTIST I could be.  To create art in such a way that my enemy 
would laugh at himself when he laughed at my performance.  My revenge was to 
succeed where I knew they could not.  

These young men, also did what they knew they were good at.  They had no idea 
of what success they could have in the future utilizing their skills - the 
ability to effectively maneuver a war machine...and boy they were really good 
at that weren't they?  -  So they wanted recognition for their skill and saw 
only one alternative... with 18 days left before graduation, they could see 
no societally accepted way to revenge themselves on the perceived hatred they 
had suffered at the hands of the majority. 

And hell, why would they want society to approve their mode?  It was society 
that was pissing on them with regularity.   They did what they were good at 
and this is the result.  A few hundred years ago they would have already been 
in the military having that aggression channeled for the good of the state - 
being trained in the ways of war by someone who would also tell them when to 
use those skills, and when it might be better to write a letter. The 
trenchcoat mafia did not see enrollment in the military as an option - though 
- because they were embroiled in a perceived civil war.  To these boys...the 
enemy was here at home.  

Another novel from --
--Aileen McCulloch,
Managing Artistic Director
The Vagabond Acting Troupe
Philadelphia, PA